


The Seventh Color

by Chechilia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Merlin, Coffee Shops, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 11:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14976290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chechilia/pseuds/Chechilia
Summary: On a cloudy day of November, Arthur finds himself outside the local LGBT Center, fighting his own fears to gather the courage to enter. Appears Merlin, who interrupted his lunch break to offer to help. When it starts to rain, they both take refuge in a nearby coffee shop, and Arthur finally gets to open his heart, finding hope somewhere between the taste of chocolate and the blue of Merlin's eyes.





	The Seventh Color

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been sitting on my computer for a while. But I heard it's Pride Month somewhere in the world, so here. Happy Pride !
> 
> Referenced Child Abuse includes : mention of violence, blatant homophobia, mention of rape (though none occurred prior to the story, nor occurs in the story itself), and mention of conversion therapy. I think that's all, but don't hesitate to tell me if I need to add something.
> 
> Also, cheesy ending is cheesy. I take full responsibility. Hope you'll enjoy it !

Arthur had been pacing back and forth in front of the building for the better part of an hour, making up his mind and changing it at the last second, reaching for the handle and chickening out before he could open the door. It wasn't that he was an indecisive person, not really. It was, actually, quite the opposite : he was a man who knew what he wanted - needed, even, in this case - and had never hesitated to fight for it.

Besides, as the son of Uther Pendragon, he was accustomed to the taking of Very Important Decisions that could change the course of the sun and the stars - or so his father had liked to make him believe.

No, it wasn't because he was indecisive that he still hadn't entered, and it wasn't because he was scared, either. Except he was a little, if the churning in his guts and the trembling of his hands was any indication. The fact that he knew he would be welcome inside didn't change a thing. It was pathetic, really, to come all the way there and not even find the courage to step in - and it wasn't as if he hadn't expected it. After all, he'd avoided to tell even Leon, his closest friend, that he was planning to go, afraid that the latter would offer to go with him and see how much of a coward he really was.

Mentally thanking his father for his raging insecurities, Arthur stared at the gloomy clouds rolling menacingly above his head before shifting his gaze to the rather inconspicuous building facing him. The facade was freshly painted in a light, nondescript grey, the color only disrupted by a sign right above the door, which was proudly proclaiming " LGBT Center" in sober white lettering. Someone had even glued a glittering plus sign right after the T, and if that wasn't enough, a bright rainbow flag was floating beside the sign, waving in the soft autumn wind.

Several people were mingling inside, visible through the glass door guarding the entrance. There were young students and older ones, some fully functioning adults, and even the odd child waiting for his parents in the space dedicated to him. It wasn't crowded by any means, yet Arthur still felt the overwhelming urge to flee : he was grateful that no one was paying him any mind, but he'd caught more than one glance flickering toward him, and it was enough to make him nervous.

Lost in thought, he noticed too late the beginning of the rain, a slight drizzle that was just cold enough to make him shiver. He cursed under his breath - as if blaming the clouds would in anyway solve his problems - and started to look for shelter, but his sudden awareness didn't stop him from jumping when he felt a hand gently tapping on his shoulder. All to aware of his vulnerability, he whirled around, tensing, only to be greeted with the sight of a man around his age - twenty, twenty-one ? - hands raised in a placating gesture.

"Sorry," the man apologized with a wince, taking a step back. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Arthur didn't even react at that, literally frozen in place. Dressed in dark jeans and a worn leather jacket that seemed a size or two too big for his frame, the man had long, graceful fingers ; thick strands of black hair that were curling around surprisingly large ears ; bright blue eyes which were staring unwaveringly at him, and a sheepish smile which had replaced the faint grimace. He was tall, but not overly so ; thin, but not overly so.

Arthur swallowed dryly. The man was bloody _gorgeous_.

"It's just, I've been taking my lunch break," the brunet continued, a bit unsure now. "And, I've seen you here, and I thought maybe I could help ?"

He had a nice voice too, Arthur reflected, deep and rich, tilted with an accent he couldn't place. He was off-handedly pointing at a nearby cafe, but his smile was faltering at Arthur's bewildered expression, and it took Arthur all of his willpower to snap back into reality :

"I...don't know," he finally replied, smiling a little ruefully. "It's not as if I've ever been here before."

He shrugged lightly, raking a nervous hand through his hair, the rain making it stand in awkward spikes. His heart was beating too fast in his chest, as if he'd just run a marathon, and his mouth was so dry he was half tempted to tilt his head back and drink the rain.

"I gathered as much," the brunet admitted, his incredibly blue eyes filling with sympathy. "It's alright, you know. No one here will bite you for wanting to take your time."

Arthur exhaled a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, soothed by the other man's gentle tone and the genuine concern that seemed to color his voice.

"I guess not," he replied, shrugging. "That doesn't make it any easier."

The brunet's lips - lovely, full pink lips - parted, but his words were lost as the sky literally cracked in two and rain began pouring on their heads, drenching their clothes and plastering their hairs to their skulls.

Arthur's expletive at the sky's obvious pettiness got caught in his throat, the man's slender fingers wrapping around his own shutting him up as surely as a muzzle.

"Come on !" the brunet yelled, tugging at Arthur's hand.

They started running toward the cafe, limbs flaying wildly, and skidded to a stop in front of the door, nearly slipping on the wet pavement. Or, well, the brunet would have fallen on his arse if not for Arthur's hold on his hand. Barely managing to remain upright, the man smiled sheepishly at Arthur, as if perfectly aware of his own clumsiness, and opened the door with one hand, grinning brightly as he waved Arthur inside.

The cafe - _Guinevere's_ , proclaimed proudly the list of beverages above the counter - was rather small, but warm and almost homey, with its colorful undertones scattered here in a trinket, there in a painting, there again in a folded napkin. The walls were made of brick and the tables of wood, and a soft music was playing in the background, old jazz or an obscure indie artist, Arthur couldn't tell.

Each table was decorated by a small bouquet of real flowers, here some tulips, there a rose or two, there again a single sunflower bringing a touch of life to the display.

"Gwen's boyfriend is a florist," the brunet said conversationally, following Arthur's gaze. "He brings her flowers every morning, but she thinks it's best to share. Gwen's nice like that."

Uncaring of the mess of a bird's nest his curls had become, he shook himself like a wet dog, raising an eyebrow at Arthur's spiking hair. Faintly self-conscious, Arthur tried to tame his blond locks with clumsy fingers, prompting a smile from the other man :

"You look fine," he laughed, twinkling eyes crinkling at the corner. "Come on, Gwen makes the best hot chocolate in the world, I'll get you a cup."

He led Arthur to a table near the wide window and let him settle, winking at him before walking to the counter. He slammed his hand several times on the little device to announce his presence, the sound of a bell making Arthur jump, but luckily there was no one else in the little cafe, despite the delicious aroma of chocolate and the smell of pastries floating in the air.

A lovely dark skinned, curly-haired woman appeared shortly behind the counter, wiping her hands with a bright red cloth. Her frown at the bell's insistence turned to amusement when she saw who was calling for her, and she shook her head a little desperately as she fought not to laugh at the man's behavior. They chatted amiably for a minute or two while the woman prepared their cups, exchanging warm words and quick jabs like they were old friends, before the woman ended the conversation by flicking the man's ear and pushing him toward the table where Arthur was waiting.

"Here," the brunet said, placing two steaming mugs on the table.

One of them was around half the size of the other, and the man settled in front of Arthur before grabbing the smallest of the two with a tiny shrug at Arthur's raised eyebrow :

"Gwen's thinks I'm getting addicted," he mumbled, cheeks pinkening. "Don't mention it."

Arthur chuckled at that, shaking his head, and took hold of his own mug, the ceramic pleasantly warm between his hands. He watched the brunet inhale the scent of chocolate with a blissful smile on his face, mesmerized by the slender wrists and clean cut cheekbones, and quickly looked down before he could get caught.

"Right," the brunet suddenly piped up, drawing Arthur's attention on him once again. "Before any of this can become awkward, hello, I'm Merlin, twenty years old, amateur of anything with chocolate. Except fries. Don't ask."

He extended a hand, cocking his head to the side in such an endearing manner that Arthur knew he was gone there and then. How convenient of him to form a crush on a man he didn't even know, as if he hadn't been fighting his own attractions for years before that.

"Who even eats fries with chocolate ?" he asked, nose crinkling in distaste. "That should be illegal or something."

He shook the proffered hand with a curious tilt of the chin :

"I'm Arthur," he said. "Pleased to meet you."

Merlin's eyes crinkled again as he smiled warmly, taking a sip of his chocolate and biting off a moan at the taste, the sound going straight to Arthur's groin.

Fucked. He was so, so fucked.

The brunet then straightened on his chair, uncaring of Arthur's internal turmoil, and shrugged off his leather jacket before leaning back in his seat, his mug cradled in his hands. He promptly froze when he caught Arthur's bewildered glance, however, and his cheeks flushed a fetching red, the color reaching even the tip of his ears as he followed Arthur's gaze to his own chest.

"Is that..."

"Shut up," Merlin replied without heat.

The t-shirt was a light grey, soft and worn like a beloved pajama. It was obvious that its owner really liked to wear it, as the seems weren't as clean cut as they used to be, the material even threadbare on one shoulder. But what immediately attracted Arthur's attention, rather than its poor state, was the colorful design on display on the man's chest : it was a cloud, white and bubbly, with two small eyes and a joyously open mouth. Mouth from which the cloud was throwing up a very colorful rainbow.

A rainbow. Of course.

"A friend gifted it to me when I came out," Merlin explained, a smile tugging at his lips. "And, well, I volunteer here sometimes" he added, gesturing to the center, "and the kids love it, so..."

He looked uncertain, suddenly, as if he wasn't sure how Arthur would take his admission. His eyes flickered to the side, then to the flower on the table - a small branch of fragrant, purple lilac - and his smile dimmed a little. But Arthur only shook his head, a faintly amused chuckle stumbling from his lips :

"Of course you do," he said with emphasis. "And here I thought you were just a helpful stranger."

There was no mistaking the mirth in his voice, though, and Merlin relaxed, his relieved sigh making the steam from his mug dance around his breath.

"Well, I am, in a way," he replied, lifting one shoulder. "Just a stranger who knows his way around the place. I could go with you afterwards, if you wish."

Arthur stiffened at the words, reality crashing back on his shoulders with vengeance. He couldn't believe he had forgotten, if only for a few minutes, the reason of his presence there. Clenching his fingers around his mug, he forced himself to take a soothing sip of hot chocolate, the heavenly taste washing off some of the bitterness at the back of his mouth. Sensing the abrupt shift of his mood, Merlin winced, biting his lower lip in obvious dismay :

"I'm sorry," he said eventually, voice almost too soft to be heard over the music in the background. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's fine," Arthur replied, if a little tersely. "It's just..."

He looked outside, where droplets of water were tracing idle patterns on the window, the heavy rain blurring the outline of the building on the other side of the road.

"You reminded me of the reason I came here," he finally managed, acutely aware of the way his words were strangled in his throat. "And I would rather forget."

Merlin stared at him for a second, blue eyes searching, before offering, gently, as if he was trying to appease a wounded animal :

"Do you want to talk about it ?"

Arthur shrugged, still tense, despite the words holding a rare kindness for a man as young as Merlin. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about it, per se. But the weight of his father's expectations had crushed him his entire life, and despite his too recent freedom, he still felt it sometimes, the phantom burden pushing him to the ground at every step.

"I wouldn't know where to start," he finally admitted. "It's...complicated."

Merlin inclined his head in acceptance :

"I can understand that," he said, gaining back the rich tilt that his worry had erased from his voice. "And if you have any questions, please, feel free to ask," he added with a tentative grin. "I mean, it's not exactly my job, since more often than not they put me on babysitting duty, but..."

Arthur snorted, and a soft but happy smile touched Merlin's lips at the sound. He lifted a hand to fiddle with his ear, a little bashfully, and it's only then that Arthur noticed the piercings that were previously hidden under thick black hair - or maybe he'd just been distracted by Merlin's cheekbones, Arthur wasn't sure. Or his eyes. Or gods, his _lips_...

Aware that his thoughts were veering into the boner-inducing category, he tried to focus back on the conversation, curiosity itching at the back on his mind. The concern in Merlin's eyes acting like a cold shower, he swallowed the last of his chocolate to give himself some courage and started :

"I was wondering...how...I mean, how did you figure it out ? That you were..."

"Attracted to men ?" Merlin asked, nodding slightly, as if he had expected the question. "Well, it's kind of a long story."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at him, gaze pointedly flickering outside, where the rain was showing no sign of receding.

"Right." Merlin chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "You see, I come from a pretty open-minded household. My favorite godfather is gay and has been living with a man for as long as I've known him, and my mother's bi, so I've always known it was alright to be attracted to the same sex, you know ? I mean" he added, tracing what seemed like a series of triangle on his napkin, "growing up, my mother would always mention my _future wife_ , and instantly add _or your husband, I don't know_. She grew tired of it at some point, and started only referring to my _future partner_ \- provided that I wanted anyone, obviously."

He shook his head at that, a fond smile tugging at his lips, and looked back at Arthur, who was watching him intently :

"It was the small things, but it was always there, as far as I remember. And I would always insist, _that's not me_ , you know ? I had registered that there was nothing wrong with it, but beyond that, I never stopped to consider my own sexuality. And then, when I was sixteen, I had my first kind of serious relationship - it lasted a year and a half, if you want a frame of reference. Freya was lovely, and I loved her, and she was a girl. It was like the holy grail for me, the proof that I was as straight as I'd always thought."

His eyes were twinkling as he recounted the events, as one would look back, indulgent, on those fanciful beliefs of the youth.

"As you can guess, it wasn't the case," he admitted, nose scrunching in self-mockery. "I was, what, eighteen ? I was part of a runner's team, and my best friend caught me checking out one of my fellow runner's backside in the locker room. He threw a fit, wondering why I'd never told him, _come on, Merls, I've known you since forever, and I didn't know_ that." He rolled his eyes, long suffering. "I thought it was innocent, right ? That's what I told him. Everyone could look at other men's backside, even more so one as fine as it was, without it meaning anything, you know ? Well, apparently, no. I've been told my friend had never wanted to do that." He swirled the last of his chocolate in his now cool mug. "The next weekend, I went to a gay bar, found someone and brought him home. Yeah. Turned out, I did like men."

He down the rest of his chocolate :

"And this," he finished with a flourish, "is the story of how I discovered that I was bisexual."

Arthur couldn't contain in a second more : he threw his head back and laughed, loudly, the joyous sound freed from his belly by Merlin's words. It was heart-warming, he thought, that someone could have that kind of story to tell, a journey of self-discovery that didn't involve pain, shame mostly, disgust sometimes.

"I know, I know," Merlin commented, smile so wide his eyes were reduced to thin crescents. "That's not the worst of it though. Because then I had to tell my mum. She was _insufferable_. I had to threaten to go live with Gaius for her to stop saying _I told you so_ every damn day."

Arthur's smile turned subdued at that, his mind escaping his grasp once again. He thought about his own mother, who would never know he was gay, would never see him fall in love, and maybe have a family of his own. The first time Arthur had said the damning words aloud had been over her grave, the faint whisper enough to acknowledge a reality he had spent years trying to deny. Four words, and the wind caressing his cheek for only answer. He had taken his decision then, the one that had costed him more than he could have imagined, and that even now he couldn't find it in himself to regret.

"I understand that I was luckier than most, though," Merlin murmured, as if sensing the shift of mood, careful not to upset the delicate balance between silence and sound.

Just as Arthur was about to reply, the bartender - Gwen, Arthur supposed - walked toward them with two huge steaming cups, the rich aroma targeting Arthur's nose as if he hadn't just downed an entire mug of chocolate. She set them on the table, careful not to spill either of them, and grabbed the two empty cups by the handle, making the ceramic clinkle.

"Those are on me," she simply said, her smile like a ray of sunlight shining through heavy clouds. "New recipe. Tell me what you think."

She didn't even let them time to thank her as she turned on her heels, as if she was aware that whatever was happening between them was private, and required a particular kind of intimacy only a hot chocolate could provide. There were confessions that could only be offered under a specific set of circumstances, just as there was a peace to be found in a small cafe while the rain was still pouring outside.

Merlin was watching Arthur intently, waiting, letting Arthur decide if he wanted to talk, and what he wanted to tell. But it wasn't easy to find the words, Arthur realized, stirring his chocolate and watching the steam rise and curl into thin air. There was too much to say, he thought, avoiding the brunet's gaze as the memories he tried for so long to keep hidden sprung back to mind. Even Leon didn't know the full story, despite being the first of Arthur's friends to ever be aware of his sexual orientation.

But maybe it was alright - here, with Merlin. With someone who could grasp his secrets and his struggles both, who could understand what he'd gone through and why.

Someone who would know who he was and wouldn't judge him for it.

"My father has never been a kind man," he finally started, voice quiet. "His parents were strict, profoundly religious, and rigid in their beliefs. My father never held on to those beliefs, but that doesn't mean none of them became ingrained into his heart."

He blew on his chocolate, softly enough not to disturb the thin layer of foam forming at the top.

"Growing up, he never missed an occasion to remind me that homosexuality was an abomination, the coupling of two men born of depravity and perversion."

He heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath and exhaled in turn, meeting Merlin's widening eyes with his own.

"I didn't understand at the time. How could I ?" He shook his head, smiling bitterly. "I was, what, maybe four years old. There was that boy in my class, I liked him, you know ? One day, he offered me a marble he'd found on the playground, saying the blue of it reminded him of my eyes." Even today, he couldn't help the fondness at the memory, cherishing that small piece of happiness. "I was ecstatic, of course. When I went home, told my father I wanted to marry that friend. He didn't take it well. Yelled at me a lot. Hit me, too, but not hard enough to leave any lasting marks."

Merlin's hands were clenched tightly on the table, but he otherwise remained silent, for which Arthur was grateful. He didn't think he could begin again if he was interrupted.

"I did learn my lesson that day," he started again. "Never mentioned anything of the sort for years, kept my interests carefully hidden. But my father hadn't forgotten. On my fifteenth birthday, he bought a prostitute for me, to _teach me the ropes_."

Merlin paled considerably at that, mouth parting in shock and disbelief, but Arthur ploughed on :

"To this day, I still wonder what would have happened if it had been someone else," he admitted. "Someone less observant, maybe, or a woman who shared my father's views. But she understood right away what was happening. Taught me a few things - safe sex and the likes - and then pretended everything had happened like my father wanted. He was pleased."

He took a deep breath, lungs burning as his hands started to shake, the faint tremble forcing him to set down his mug.

"After that, I tried everything to repress my feelings. Dated a few girls, pretended I liked them. I never had sex with them, though, never could. But then..." He folded his hands on the table, nails biting at the skin. "My father was away on business. There was this party at my house, many people, some dancing, lots of alcohol. And I was so tired, you know ? It was as if something had snapped. I was drunk, became reckless, and started kissing this bloke, I don't even remember his name. We ended up in my room."

Quirking his lips in self-depreciation, he met Merlin's gaze again :

"I should have known my father would come home early." Fate, like his father, had never been kind. "He found us in bed together, half naked, too distracted to notice as he opened the door. I don't recall much of what followed - there was some yelling, I guess, probably some blows too - but next thing I knew, my father was sending me to conversion therapy."

Merlin went from pale to livid, his jaw clenched so hard Arthur could hear his teeth grinding together. He kept his fury in check though, willing to hear the story to its end, sympathetic but not pitying, rightfully angered but never judgmental.

"What they do to you there...I didn't even last a week," Arthur admitted after a second of weighted silence. "Took my things and fled. I went to see my mother then, spent hours before her grave. I realized she wouldn't have wanted that life for me, that she would have loved me no matter what, that she wouldn't have forced me to change." He shook his head, gaze unfocused. "Looking back, I think that was the only thing my father couldn't forgive : that I refused to change. A week later, I received notice from his lawyers that he'd cut me out entirely. I was twenty at the time."

His throat felt too tight suddenly, the words strangling him and forcing tears into his eyes. He couldn't say that it wasn't all there was to it, the shame and resulting anger like a gag in his mouth. He didn't talk about how he hadn't had a boyfriend since, not even a one night stand in a dark club somewhere, despite several men that had sparked his interest. He didn't say that he felt as if his father's ghost was following him everywhere, smirking proudly every time he looked at a girl, frowning in silent and cold disapproval every time he so much as glanced at a man with more than indifference.

That knowledge ate at Arthur, that he still wasn't able to free himself from his father's clutches, to disregard years of denying himself every scrap of happiness for a man who'd ended up turning his back on him.

He couldn't say it, but Merlin seemed to understand, and reached out to grab his hand, anchoring him.

"It can't have been easy," he murmured.

His thumb was gently caressing Arthur's skin, grounding him into reality, and Arthur's breathing came a little easier at his words, the weight on his shoulders a little bit lighter, barely, to allow him some reprieve. He passed a hand over his face, to hide the tears that never fell, before looking back at Merlin.

"No," he replied with a humorless chuckle, "it definitely wasn't. But I was lucky. My best friend's parents took me in ; I spent the last year with them. I started working, small jobs here and there, to pay for tuition - or at least until Leon's mother decided that it wasn't my fault I had a bigoted father and insisted that they pay for it themselves."

"They seem like good people," Merlin commented softly.

"They are," Arthur replied. "I wish I'd be able to repay their kindness one day." He smiled. "But right now I'm just trying to get my life back on track. I mean, I abandoned everything when I left, including every official paper I might need for uni, or get a license, that sort of thing. I just don't know how to got about it, so I thought I'd come here."

Merlin nodded before he even finished his sentence :

"Don't worry," he promised, "we'll find what you need. Plus, I'm sure mum will love you."

Arthur frowned at that, faintly suspicious, and Merlin bit his lip, contrite despite the amused upturn of his mouth :

"Right," he muttered, fiddling with his piercings again. There was two black studs on one earlobe, Arthur found, and two identical one on the other but this time with an additional ring. "Remember when I said I've grown up in a very open-minded household ?" Merlin continued. "Well, my mother...kind of...founded this center ?"

Arthur laughed easily, the sound startled out of him. It finished to untie the knot of his muscles, allowing him to take a deep breath, soft and slow, and relax on his chair, oddly comfortable despite being made of plain wood. He shook his head in amusement, eyes twinkling, and looked back at Merlin, knowing that his expression was too fond for the amount of time they'd known each other and not caring one bit.

"Thank you, Merlin," he said simply.

Merlin answered with a brilliant smile and silence fell over them again, this time warm like a blanket - like the chocolate slowly cooling in their mugs, the music still playing in the background, warm like the light in Merlin's eyes.

"Can you tell me," Arthur started, hesitant, "how it's like for you ? Out there ?"

"Being out, you mean ?" Merlin replied lightly, and smiled at Arthur's nod. "In everyday life, I guess it's pretty much the same. Your friends just have a tendency to wear colorful accessories and talk too much about sparkles and unicorns, for the sheer pleasure of playing into the stereotypes. Otherwise, there's the eternal wonder of that friend who might or might not be interested - is he a friend, or a possible boyfriend ? You never know, and it might not be a good idea to ask - and the crushes on same-sex celebrities."

Arthur chuckled at that : the thought that teenagers and young adults were all the same - regardless of their orientation - was comforting, in a way. To find out that he wasn't alone, to have a tangible proof of it, was like finding oxygen after spending too much time underwater. Mistaking his reaction for a dismissal, Merlin blushed, the tip of his ears turning a rather endearing red :

"Oh come on, Arthur," he snipped, voice teasing, "have you even watched the last Marvel movies ?"

Arthur tipped his head back and laughed, Adam apple bobbing up and down. He looked back at Merlin and nearly startled to find him staring, his blush not receding one bit, an oddly pleased yet bashful smile on his lips.

"I guess you have a point," Arthur conceded, mouth suddenly dry.

"Always do," Merlin replied, nodding sagely to himself, an eyebrow lifting as if he was challenging Arthur to contradict him.

Finding in himself the barest hint of long lost wisdom, Arthur remained silent, his expectant expression prompting Merlin to continue his explanation. The brunet looked thoughtful for a moment, appraising, in a way, and finally added :

"Of course, it's not always rainbows and unicorns, so to speak. I can't even recall how many times I've been told by a well-meaning old lady that I needed Jesus, or else I'd end up rotting in the deepest pits of hell."

Arthur grimaced at that, all too aware that it wasn't uncommon in most cities to find narrow-minded people, who would bother a perfect stranger with good intentions and end up insulting them in one way or another.

"Also, there's always that distant acquaintance of a friend who likes to joke about how I'd like to take it, the classmate who insists that _come on, bisexuality isn't even a thing, you should pick a side_. And obviously the classic : _well, at least you're not_ gay _, right ?_ "

There was something curiously self-depreciating in his tone, words he heard too many times etched in his brain, undermining his joy like a leech sucking off his happiness. Arthur wanted to comfort him, like Merlin had done for him earlier, but he didn't know how to go about it, and before he could say anything Merlin had shrugged, waving the matter away like it was nothing more than an annoying insect.

"So, yeah," he said, "not always easy. But you get used to it after a while. I mean, I currently have a bet with Gwaine on who will get the most _I'll pray for you_ in a month, Mithian donates one pound to the center every time someone insults her for being a lesbian - she has her own tip jar, decorated by the kids and everything - and Perce goes by, sticking rainbows on every free surface he can find. But no one ever calls him out on it, 'cause it's Perce."

"That's...surprisingly inventive," Arthur commented, an amused smile touching his lips.

"Well, you do with what you get," Merlin said flatly, though he too was smiling.

"So," Arthur wondered after a second of careful silence, "your friends, do they all work here, or..."

"Oh no," Merlin exclaimed, laughing, "that would be a right nightmare. There's only me and Perce - the responsible ones - and Elena. I met Gwaine...remember when I said I brought someone home ? The day of my big bi reveal ? Well, it was him. We stayed friend after that. He's a bit of a wild card, always finding someone new to sleep with, but we all know he's head over heals for Perce, even if he refuses to admit it."

He blushed prettily at that, biting one lip :

"Sorry, that might be too much information for you."

"I don't mind," Arthur replied, grinning even as he was shaking his head. "Thank you to consider my delicate sensibilities though. I appreciate it."

His tone was voluntarily teasing, and Merlin blushed even harder, if that was possible. It was amusing to watch, someone looking as self-assured as Merlin becoming so flustered.

"Far from me the idea that you're anything but delicate, Your Highness," the brunet replied, wiggling his eyebrows. "I was merely concerned about your princely virtues, my apologies."

Arthur nearly choked at that, unable to label Merlin's tone as anything but flirtatious. He took a hurried sip of his now cold chocolate to hide his surprised, unsure of how to react, and afraid that it was all wishful thinking on his part.

"Anyway," the brunet started again, forcefully clearing his throat, "that's just Gwaine for you. And Mithian is in the same class as me in uni, so we got to know each other, and one day I noticed the lesbian flag on her backpack, and well, here we are."

"They seem nice" Arthur offered.

"They're horrendous," Merlin replied off-handedly, his soft smile belying his words. "I should introduce you sometimes. Or, well, if you start to come around, you'll meet them anyway. There's a partnership between the center and the local uni LGBT group, so they all come and go quite often."

"Is this how you started working here, then ?" Arthur asked, curious. "Because of the uni group ?"

"The opposite," Merlin answered. "I started working here first - they needed an occasional babysitter for the kids, and I was free, so I thought, why the hell not. That was around two years ago, but they made it a regular thing. I met Perce through the uni group though."

He leaned forward, crossing his arms and making his loosely defined muscles stand out under his pale skin. Arthur subconsciously mirrored his movement :

"How come there are kids in the center, though ?" he wondered. "I mean, I get that some people find it out early, but kids ?"

"It's usually the parents," Merlin replied, nodding as if Arthur's question made perfect sense. "They come in with questions, of the legal kind mostly, and more often than not it takes longer than anticipated. The kids get bored, they start running around and drive everyone crazy, so that's when I come in."

His smile softened, turning fond :

"I like it though," he added conversationally. "The kids are the best. They just don't care who you sleep with, you know ? They haven't registered that it's supposed to be a bad thing for some, so they just roll with it." His tone turned conspiratorial. "I think they're trying to set me up. They always ask if I have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, and when I say that I don't, they go to the students around my age that come in and start to play me up. It's the cutest thing."

He shook his head, eyes crinkling, and grabbed his napkin to start folding it into an origami :

"But sometimes, the parents come for the kids. We've had a couple, last week, around thirty, maybe ? Their daughter had expressed the wish to marry a girl she liked in her class. The parents wanted to ask us how they could make sure their daughter knew it was alright, and that they would love her always, no matter what others might say. I'm pretty sure Ellie teared up."

Arthur looked away briefly, a small smile tugging at his lips. He knew Merlin was aware of the way his story resonated within Arthur, giving him some hope that maybe, one day, no one would have to go through what he did.

"They even brought their daughter back here once, so she could meet us, you know, see she wasn't alone. Imagine a nine years old girl with fairy wings asking when she would be old enough to marry her girlfriend. Luckily for us, she didn't mind that it would be a while, and instead of pouting she decided to draw a rainbow for every single member of the staff. And of course, _of course_ I was the one who had to explain that our flag only had six colors, not seven, and _why is that Merlin, why six and not seven, seven's pretty, and the rainbow father showed me when it was raining the other day had seven colors Merlin why six._ "

He looked incredibly proud as Arthur laughed freely, shaking his head as Merlin's eyes twinkled with mirth.

"It's true that, Merlin," Arthur wondered, imitating Merlin's imitation of the little girl. "Why six and not seven ?"

"I have no idea," Merlin replied brightly, with a shrug and a crooked smile. "I seem to remember it has been done because they wanted an even number, I'm not sure. But anyway, I just know that all six colors have a particular meaning, so that's what I told her. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Life, health, the sun, nature, art, and finally the spirit, all in that order."

"And what did she say ?" Arthur asked, playing right into Merlin's hand.

Merlin sighed heavily, his features turning theatrically dismayed :

"She told me that we needed another color. Because a real rainbow has seven color so obviously six is not enough."

Arthur barely managed to contain his hilarity.

"So I told her that I liked to think there was a seventh color on the flag, hidden somewhere, everywhere, like a big secret no one should know about."

Arthur smiled at the idea. It was endearing, in a way, a child's fantasy, like the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny.

"And what would that last color mean for you ?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Merlin's answering grin was blinding :

"Love, of course," he replied, the smile seeping right into his voice, turning it into something warm. "What else could it possibly be ?"

Arthur laughed, the sound joyful, and Merlin's eyes crinkled in answer. The sight of his blue eyes twinkling with mirth made Arthur's heart thud in his chest, and he fought the sudden urge to lean over the table and kiss Merlin, half full mugs of chocolate be damned.

"And what did your fairy say to that ?" he asked instead, heartbeat out of sync, carefree in a way he hadn't been in years, if ever.

" _It's a wonderful idea, Merlin,_ " Merlin replied, mimicking the ten-year-old voice with an amused tilt of his head. " _Mum says love is the best thing. Do you love someone, Merlin ? You should. People would be lucky to be loved by you._ And then she just ran away with her crayons."

He shook his head fondly as Arthur contemplated him.

"They would, you know," Arthur said after a second of tentative silence, voice quiet yet bold. "Be lucky."

It took Merlin a second to understand, but when he did his eyes widened.

"Arthur..."

Arthur looked away and outside, where the rain was finally showing signs of receding.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Arthur."

"I know it's not the best time for me," Arthur continued, shrugging. "I know that I have some baggage, and that everything won't be easy. But I like you. I really like you, and I just thought...."

He swallowed nervously, words he'd never allowed himself to utter to anyone, let alone a man, slipping past his lips with little regard to the situation. He would have swallowed them along with the heart beating wildly in his throat, but here they were, floating around in the tentative silence, a truth he knew he should have kept hidden a bit longer. It wasn't enough that he'd ruined his relationship with his father because of his orientation, now he also had to...

His thoughts halted as a hand pressed on his, quieting his worry like a blanket of snow can quiet sounds, all soft and soothing. He looked up to find Merlin smiling at him, something like hope curving at the corner of his mouth.

" _Arthur_ ," Merlin repeated. "It's fine. It's fine, alright ?"

His words were a bit strangled, but he sounded bashful rather than gently dismissive :

"I mean, I haven't been completely honest with you," he admitted, scrunching up his nose. "You see, I was having lunch, and I saw you out there, and, well. I didn't exactly go to you out of the goodness of my heart."

At Arthur's raised eyebrow, he quickly amended :

"I mean, there's that too, of course, it doesn't mean you have to...I didn't want to press, with your situation and all, but...Well, I went to you because..." A light blush stained his cheeks, and he waved his hand as if trying to make his point without actually saying the words. "Because you were hot," he finished lamely. "Yeah."

He tilted his head consideringly, meeting Arthur's hopeful gaze with his own, serious despite the upturn of his lips and the pink of his cheeks.

"And I understand that this will all be difficult for you," he said softly, "but if you feel like handling a relationship at the same time, well. I'd be glad to walk with you."

He ended his tirade a little breathless, smiling shyly as he ducked his head, and Arthur blinked at how adorable he found it. That was definitely new : he'd never used that adjective to describe a man before. Hot, handsome, beautiful, even - and Merlin was all of that - but never adorable. He kind of liked it.

It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, the clouds shying away from his sky to finally allow the return of the sun. Happiness spreading inside him, a full bubble of joy, Arthur let a smile tug at his lips :

"I'd like that," he said softly.

Merlin was watching him with something akin to fondness in his eyes, and right there, with his blue eyes trained on him, Arthur felt the power to raise mountains. He squeezed Merlin's hand in his own, Merlin's smile so wide it mirrored the one of his rainbow-throwing cloud.

"Shall we, then ?" he asked, gaze flicking to the window, from where they could see the rain had stopped.

Merlin nodded, and Arthur threw a couple of banknotes on the table to cover the price of their drinks as well as a generous tip for their waitress. They stood up and waved at Gwen as they walked out of the cafe, crossing the street hand in hand to enter the center on the other side.

And if at the exact same time the door closed behind them, a mischievous cloud chose to unravel to let through a ray of sunlight ; if that same ray of sunlight hit the drizzling rain and sparked into a beautiful rainbow, well.

It was probably some kind of sign, wasn't it ?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading !


End file.
